Borrowing Lenses

Throughout my life, I have had many people hand me their “lenses” and I tried to make sense of the world by using their view. Occasionally I spent a great deal of time trying to adapt to the philosophies presented to me and trying to view the world their way. It just doesn’t seem to work for me.

The older I get, the more time I try to view the world from God’s perspective.

What does He say about the world?
What does He say about forgiveness?
Grudges?
Relationships?
The poor?
Love?
His people?
The church?

It might seem easier to adopt the mindset of someone else you trust because it is hard work to think, pray, and study. But I have run into enough untrustworthy people in my life that I don’t often take someone’s word for it. Dig in! Don’t borrow someone else’s viewpoint. It is important to consider what is behind someone’s beliefs and it is often necessary to be compassionate as you listen, but don’t buy into everything you hear or read. God will grant you discernment if you ask.

Language Learning

A small sample of our Hungarian Language Resources

In junior high and high school I studied Latin and French. Learning Latin was great because it really helped me with vocabulary. The French really didn’t stick with me. Actually, I really didn’t stick with it. I took French for two years and I can remember part of one song. That’s it.

The language I had the most exposure to as I was growing up was Hungarian. I caught a few things here and there and even went to a Hungarian school in Pennsylvania one summer. As a family we would say “Come Lord Jesus be our guest…” in Hungarian. I also learned several children’s songs. Today I actually take Hungarian lessons with two of our kids and it has been quite an effort for me. I think they are picking it up more quickly than I am. Once we realized we had relatives who only spoke Hungarian, it became a bigger motivator for us to learn. There was a focus.

Language learning builds new pathways in your brain. It enriches your view of the world if you include cultural studies about the country and people group associated with the language you study. It can also enhance your geography skills. It could open the door for mission work in the US with immigrants from that country or short/long term mission work in that other country.

Do you know someone endeavoring to learn a language right now? Consider praying for their language acquisition skills. If you know someone in language school for mission work, pray for them to be able to pick up the language quickly. If you know of international students in the US learning English, pray for them as well. Many families come to the US with few English skills and their children bridge the gap by learning English quickly in school. The child who serves to interpret for his parents is in a unique situation. While it is easy to criticize these parents for not learning to read, write, and speak English fluently, remember that language learning as we get older is not easy. And certainly learning English is not easy. If you find you have a great annoyance towards immigrants not learning English while they live here, consider praying for their language skills and then consider volunteering with a church or local organization with their ESL (English as a Second Language) program. Getting involved in the process will enhance your understanding and grow your compassion and put your skills to good use.

Speaking from experience, focusing on HSL (Hungarian as a Second Language) is not an easy task. I had the privilege of hearing the rhythm of Hungarian in my brain since the day I was born and while pronunciation is easier for me than maybe for someone else who has never heard the sounds, it still is a very difficult language for me to learn. Thankfully God placed several fluent Hungarian speakers in my life right here in Evansville, Indiana! Imagine that! My goal is to a least become casually conversant. If you don’t know anyone else to pray for concerning language learning then I invite you to pray for me!

Painful Friendships

Over the course of life there are so many friendships we experience–some are an amazing source of love and grace and laughter on this bumpy road of life and some leave incredibly deep wounds.

If you decide to take a few moments to contemplate old, expired, and difficult friendships be sure to take along a big bucket of grace to dump over the entire situation.

As you survey your lifetime of friendships, a few may stand out. The painful friendships are precious in their own way–maybe the relationship didn’t survive but hopefully there were some lessons learned by both parties. It is tricky business to have two people in relationship with one another because everyone has their own issues. Believe me, I have mine and I am willing to bet you have yours. Those frictional friendships often help us understand more about ourselves if we can step back and look at them with an introspective eye. (I know, introspective eye sounds a little weird). At any rate, sometimes a big chunk of time might need to go by before you can look back at a friendship and consider what was going on there. If you find yourself wondering to a time period with a painful friendship, I pray you are willing to see God and His perspective and be able to experience His peace.

Employment

Do you know someone unemployed, underemployed, or stuck in a difficult or dangerous job? Please consider lifting them and their families up in prayer today.

It is easy to see how discouraging and despairing it is for someone struggling to find employment. Frequent rejection is frustrating and disheartening. Sometimes the family struggles with a vicious cycle of shame and blame regarding the job situation. While job hunting can provide a good opportunity to evaluate priorities, skill sets, living arrangements it also can take its toll on a family and esteem. Specifically praying for families struggling with employment issues is a great way to connect with another’s need. You can take it a step further by sending them a note to let them know you are praying for them, ask them if there are specific needs you can pray for on their behalf, surprise them with a gift card for a grocery store, or invite them over for dinner and games.

Heavenly Father, there are so many people who are willing to work but many companies are cutting back and jobs are not so easy to find. Please give them eyes to see the next step for them and their family. And provide encouragers along the way. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Offenders

Our congregation participates in a program called Kairos Prison Ministry International. There is a lot to the organization but one thing they do is take trained volunteers into correction facilities to share the Gospel during a carefully and prayerfully planned weekend. Here is a link to their website: Kairos Prison Ministry International

If you or someone you love has been in trouble with the “Law” you know the heartbreak, the stubbornness, the relief, the fear, the anger, the hesitation, the disappointment, and the hard work it takes to turn in around.

Please pray for offenders and their families. Pray for those who have changed their ways to be strong in their resolve to live a healthy and law-abiding life. Pray for those who are heading down that path to be caught sooner rather than later and wake up to the trouble they are causing. Pray for the families who are often caught in a cycle of shame and blame.

Pray about your involvement in ministry to offenders and their families. If you feel ministering to offenders (or their families) is a direction God may be leading you, there are several organizations out there.

Adoption

I think about all the joys and challenges that surround the word of adoption and it is so full of prayer possibilities. I am sure we all know at least one family impacted by adoption in some way. Lift them up in prayer because there are times when it takes a lifetime to process the impact of adoption. Whether they are going through a time of discouragement or a time of celebration, pray God reveals His loving care to them each step of the way and pray they can recognize His work in their lives.

Here are some ideas to get you started if you are drawing a blank:

the adopted
the birth mother
the birth father
the birth grandparents
the adopting family (parents, other children, grandparents)
the challenges (and joys) of international adoption
Adoptions involving disabilities

There are so many adjustments, expectations, joys, waits, and hurts that those in any of the above categories experience through the process of adoption. Take time to pray for and encourage those you know who have an experience relating to adoption in their lives.

Are You Stuck in a Bad Chapter?

Ever wonder how King David from the Old Testament (shepherd boy, giant slayer, and man after God’s own heart) could possibly walk so close with God and then end up so far away from God by committing adultery, murder, and failing to protect his family? It happened just one step at a time. An unchecked heart and unconfessed sin can lead both you and I astray very quickly. David’s story didn’t end there…and ours doesn’t need to either….

Sometimes we think receiving faith in Jesus as Savior eliminates all of our temptations and rebellious, sinful decisions. It isn’t true, but it sure would be nice. We do, however, get to experience the nudging of our conscience from the Holy Spirit. You and I can try to stifle and smother those promptings and go our own wanton way for a long, long time but the consequences will catch up to us eventually.

Don’t try to still the small voice of God. Confessing your sin will be a turning point in a difficult chapter of your life. Consequences won’t likely be eliminated but God can and will grow you in His love and grace.

God can redeem all situations and longs to be reconciled with you!

What is in Your Food?

It’s the talk these days, you know. Pink slime and GMO’s and pesticides. It is overwhelming to watch the videos and read the books but I do what I can. It is important. Not all food is created equal. The healthiest food has the least processing, the fewest additives, and is organic. More fruits and veggies and legumes, please. I like my grains processed as little as possible. Fast food is something to stay away from, even though it’s cheap and puts something in a hungry belly.

And so it is with religious institutions. Even Christian ones. Are you in a place where, as God’s Word is preached, it is infused with man-made additives that distract and pollute? Are you finding the lists of things to stay away from are longer than the lists of things we are called to do? Are you being taught things that might seem reasonable but aren’t actually biblical?

Take a look at your spiritual food supply. Is someone trying to control yours? It is important that you question when things are presented as God’s law but truly are not. Ask questions, seek counsel from others, and do not simply surround yourself with people all taught by the same human authority figure. This isn’t easy, but if you are so involved in a “like-minded” group that no one is in a position to discern a problem, it is important to step out and ask trustworthy others about your concerns.

Regular food is important. Spiritual food is important. If someone is messing with your food, you need to address it. Don’t blindly trust the USDA, the FDA, or some person in position of authority who does not allow himself or herself be accountable to others. If you know of people caught up in this sort of situation, pray for them. Pray for God and His pure and unadulterated Truth to reach them. And if they come knocking on your door for insight, show them the pure Gospel.

Control

Can we ever get all of it under control? I don’t think it is possible. I don’t think it is meant to be possible. While this might be a disappointing piece of news for you, it is a relief to me!!!

Glance over this list…surely there is something out of your control here:

Budget, Children, Paperwork, Relationships, Health, Laundry, Kitchen Cupboards, Refrigerator, Food Shopping and Meal Planning, Chores, Vehicle Maintenance, Home Maintenance

Really? shall I continue?

Family Schedules, Education, Smoking, Drinking, Recreational Drug Use, Weight, Eating, Exercise, Thought Life, Spiritual Life, Emotional Life, Addictive Behaviors, Marriage

I know there is more…

What is our obsession with control? Sometimes our personal lack of control is seen in our need to control others. Sometimes we are just weighed down by the expectations of others and so we work hard to “earn” someone’s favor by being “in control”. There are things that are simply out of our control and there are things we certainly can work on. If I am always angry about how things are going, I am likely feeling out of control and not sure where to put that frustration and so it comes out as anger. It’s somewhat understanding because feeling like everything is out of control is a very frustrating feeling!

Here is my confession ~ At one time or another I have tried to get all of those things listed above under my control. Guess what? It hasn’t worked yet. I can make progress in some areas but I just can’t seem to conquer everything on that list and certainly not at the same time. I am actually not sure I have conquered anything of that list. All I will say is that sometimes I make progress.

I am not sure why I expect myself to have everything under control. I guess because lots of people look like they have it under control but they I suspect they don’t. It’s most likely a mirage. It just appears to be the case. It is probably what people want me to think is true.

Me? I am a mess some days. Maybe most days. And when I acknowledge that life is messy and I am messy and I ask God to work through my circumstances for something bigger than myself (like Him) He is able to take my mess and makes a message out of it. I hope it is a message of grace because that is what I need to hear and so I am betting others need to hear it too.

Let’s be real and admit where we have a struggle, an unrealistic expectation, or a mess. Trying to look like we have everything under control isn’t healthy for others and it isn’t healthy for us either. While everyone does not need to know everything, confessing our lack of control to those we rub shoulders with most frequently is being real. I think when we are real with others it invites them to be real with us. And that is where we start to accept who we are instead of always striving to be someone we aren’t.

Lord, within my mess I need to see Your message. Help me to bring all of it to You and accept Your grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Amen.

Children, Parenting, and Pride

Do you know or parent a child who is very compliant?

NEWSFLASH: It’s most likely a personality trait. Your awesome parenting did not create a compliant child.

Do you know or parent a child who is strong willed and likes to buck at every turn?

NEWSFLASH: That is also mostly a personality trait. Your parental mistakes (and friends, we ALL make loads of them) did not create a child who insists on blazing their own trail!

Do your remember Adam and Eve? Created by a perfect God, living in a sinless world, and no “good” excuse for their choices. Even they did not follow God’s directions!!!

NEWSFLASH: You will never be a more perfect parent than God!

If your kids are compliant (or obedient) most of the time, don’t take the credit for it. Compliance is most often a God-given personality trait.

Don’t be prideful in your parenting. You can learn all you can and do the best you can but don’t put your kids and their behavior on a pedestal. Whenever you see kids put on a pedestal, it is because the parents want to be on the pedestal but this is a more accepted way of getting the accolades. I think we can all agree though, it is obnoxious and exhausting to be friends with people who always need to talk about the amazing things their children accomplish. By the same token, there is no need to humiliate and shame your children for mistakes. Quite honestly, there are a ton of natural consequences that come with risky behavior, even some that we have to live with. While we would like children to learn these hard lessons sooner rather than later and with as little pain and embarrassment as possible, sometimes it takes a lifetime of learning. They will learn as they grow. We all do.

“Pride attaches undue importance to the superiority of one’s status in the eyes of others; And shame is fear of humiliation at one’s inferior status in the estimation of others. When one sets his heart on being highly esteemed, and achieves such rating, then he is automatically involved in fear of losing his status.” Lao-Tzu

While I am not a big fan of Lao-Tzu, there is some great insight in that quote. Pride and fear are very interconnected. Pride can mess up quite a bit of stuff. I have seen it cripple people, families, congregations, and ministries. Be careful! It can creep up on you. If you consider yourself above accountability, then you have some issues with pride. If you do not ask for accountability and allow people to hold you accountable for what you do and say, then be ready for that ugly day when it all comes crashing down. It is important to take this issue of pride seriously. It is often something we can see in others more quickly than we can see it in ourselves. Ask God to reveal your areas of pride. Take the risk and ask an honest friend too.

Every time I land in Proverbs I am reminded that I need to spend more time there:

Pride goes before destruction,
a haughty spirit before a fall.
Better to be lowly in spirit along with the oppressed
than to share plunder with the proud.
[Proverbs 16:18-19]

Lord, You know me inside and out. You created me. You love me. You desire for me to learn and grow. Pride is not a part of what You desire for me. Bring me to a greater place of dependency on You. When You see pride in me, You also see fear. Replace that fear with trust in You. Let me be real, accessible, and accountable. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!