People Watching…People Praying…

I love people!

I have always been fascinated by the variety in people–hair and skin color, sizes and shapes but I also love (and sometimes hate) the dynamics in relationships and what makes people tick and personalities and where they have been and where they are going! It seems to be easier to observe the sheer variety of people here in New York because I feel pretty anonymous and pretty average. Grand Central Station is a great place to people watch but so is the train, the subway, the doctor’s office, the coffee shop. And, to be honest, when someone looks or behaves in an interesting way, most people have a tendency to take note. I think that is the point behind out-standing looks or behavior ~ the desire to be seen.

Do you ever find yourself wondering about everyone’s story? Or is it just me?

I am one of those people that tries to give people the benefit of the doubt and that is much easier to do when I am in a good space. I really have no clue what most people have been through and why certain things affect people in so many different ways. I only truly know me and what goes on in my brain when I am making a decision.

And sometimes I clearly was not thinking when I made some wild decisions but that is a post for another day.

When I have a moment to observe and ponder, I often pray. I pray that God blesses, comforts, and provides for that person and meets them at their need. I pray God brings people into their lives that are encouraging and uplifting and supportive. I pray for the people in their lives. I pray that God reveals Himself to them through the gift of Faith.

Next time you are out and about, there might be someone like me near you. And if they are anything like me, they will wonder about your life and what brought you here to this moment and how this journey is going for you…

They might wonder about the hard places you have been and wondered what brings refreshment to your soul and if you have someone you can call when life is hard…

If everyone picked out a “stranger” to pray for just think how it might change their perspective towards them. That really frustrating person in line might have a back story no one could even possibly imagine, let alone live through. Sometimes it is easier to pray for someone we know less about because their questionable behavior doesn’t affect us quite so personally and the disconnect provides us with a perspective and a patience. And might I offer that there are plenty of people in the world that no one is praying for…of course, we don’t know who those people are but it stands to reason that not everyone has someone praying for them.

If all the People Watching were People Praying what a kind of place would the world be?

Time for friendships…

I appreciate the variety of friends God has brought into my life! And while strong friendships do not need daily, weekly or even monthly contact, it is important to check in on occasion.

Is there one person you miss and haven’t been in touch with in the last year or more? If you are like me, there are probably many more than just one. But take this as an encouragement to commit to connecting with one person this week with a homemade card, a handwritten letter, a text, a phone call or a visit.

I was able to do just that within the last week…a long overdue conversation with a dear dear friend. It started with a text…and moved to a possible day to connect…then switched to another day…but it finally happened and was a wonderful pause in a busy week! It was a blessing and encouragement to both of us!

Has someone special crossed your mind yet?

Are you waiting for a friend to contact you? Consider making the first move! True friendships don’t always have to be tit for tat on connecting. I have a lot of grace when it comes to friendships because there are many times in my own life when the seasons have been so busy and it takes some time to come out of it and look around and see beyond the immediate needs of small children, aging parents, illness, job changes, etc. If we haven’t been in touch within the last year, well, it has been awfully crazy for me so I assume it has been at least a little crazy for you too.

If you are a little behind in your connecting, pick one friend a month (that’s 12 for 2014) to connect with via a phone call or a letter. And by the end of this year you will be on your way to catching up!

Routine…

Predictable…Consistent….Reliable….

It’s the New Year and as I evaluate where I have been and where I am going I feel like I could use some more routine in my life. I seem to go in spurts of focus and that takes a toll on my consistency. Of course, we just came off of a wild year so I am craving a little predictability, I suppose. I don’t do a load of laundry every day to keep up with it. I typically do a day of laundry so I can focus on it. [Really, who am I kidding? Don usually does the laundry now…] But when I was doing laundry I tried to get it all done in a day because it was easier to focus on getting it all done in one day instead of a little every day.

I don’t know how this idea of routine will work for me. And I surely won’t do this in every area of my life but I will in two areas for sure and one of them is PrayerPoints. I have weighed the pros and the cons of the 40 days of Lent posts against a weekly consistency for a couple of years. The truth is, I like focusing on it for 40 days and leaving it up to chance (and, consequently, minimal posting the rest of the year). With my mind very intentionally focused for those 40 days, I feel like I could easily write 100 PrayerPoints because there are so many things that lead my mind down that path. But I don’t like that I don’t ponder quite as much (nor commit to paper as much) during the rest of the 325 days.

This year I will embark on a new routine! On Sunday or Monday of each week I will post a PrayerPoint. In the end, I am only committing to 52 PrayerPoints vs 40 PrayerPoints. it’s hardly an increase. But switching it up will switch up my routine. And I feel like that is something I need right now. It will help me to practice being consistent.

As you think about the routines in your life you certainly will find some that should stay, some that should be eliminated, and some that should be initiated. I challenge you to think about one area you plan to be intentional about this year and whisper it to someone you trust. Let them cheer you on and help you dust off the dirt if you fall. Sharing your journey–the good and the bad–the encouragement and the disappointment–is one of the blessings on being here on this Earth at the exact same moment as the others in your life! Then set about charting your course for success by making a plan. Allow yourself for some grace and take it one step at a time!

And when you are ready to make your whisper a shout, I would love to know what you are working on this year!

I learned several important things this year….

After a wild and crazy year I have discovered a few important things. Here are my top ten so far:

Family ~ Our kids really like each other and like to spend time together. How did I learn that? Well, I suspected it because they would get together separately for lunch out, movie night or some other way of connecting. But, boy oh boy, move 2 of them 14 hours away from the other 2 and there is no end to the complaints about our new situation! Heart warming and heart wrenching at the same time!

Love ~ I hung out with Don for most of a day nearly every day (in less than ideal circumstances) for 5 months AND we got along great! If that is a glimpse into retirement, we should do just fine.

History ~ You never know who from your past will make an appearance in your future. And you never know who in your today won’t be involved in your life ever again. Relationships are funny things so celebrate who is around you and what they mean to you today!

Plans ~ Sometimes plans you have made get put on hold one way or another by things completely out of your control. Don’t be caught spinning in circles while you wait for the next thing. While it looks like nothing is happening in that cocoon or chrysalis from the outside, the inside is experiencing an amazing transformation that needs a certain amount of time to pass. Don’t waste your time while you wait!

Discovery ~ The person I was 30, 20, 10, 5, and 2 years ago was the person in the middle of becoming who I am today. It is easier to be me now, I suppose. There were many bunny trails early on that were distracting although they each helped me learn and better define who (and Whose) I am. And if you learn something from them it wasn’t wasted time. All is redeemable in the hands of God ~ the trick is in learning how to release it to Him and let Him do it in His time!

Beauty ~ There is so much beauty out in the world! ~ in your home, yard, community, state, nation, and the world! Wow! From simple to complex. Open your eyes, heart, and mind and get engaged with the world around you!

Quiet ~ I used to always want music on–even as I was going to bed as a teenager and college student. Now I crave quiet or at least only “natural” noise. I definitely plan to take more time this year to step away from the craziness and celebrate and savor the quiet.

New ~ So much has been “new” for me lately and it is taking a lot more energy than I thought it would to adjust to everything. In general, I don’t mind change. I can handle a few new this and thats but orienting to many new realities at the same time is taking me longer than I thought. Be sure to give yourself some extra margin if you travel down an unfamiliar path!

Trust ~ It takes time to develop relationships with people you trust. I don’t know very many people on personal level in New York besides Don, Elizabeth, and Hannah but I don’t feel like it’s a problem at this point because there are so many different things happening in the adjustment and I can’t imagine adding in other things right now! I know the relationships will come with time. How do I know? When we moved to Evansville in 2006 I only knew Don and our four kids. And as we adjusted and lived and breathed and played in our new town we met lots and lots of precious people. I absolutely trust God will take care of these details again for us in New York.

Perspective ~ Your perspective makes a HUGE difference in what you see. If you are looking for reasons to be miserable (in a marriage, at your job, in your town, in your church) you will likely find your “proof”. If you look for the interesting, the positive, the “good” in any situation, you will likely find that as well. Seek and you will find…so be careful what you are looking for!!!

What did you learn in 2013?

Meaningful Gifting

There seems to be a crazy frenzy around the holidays. Bigger seems better. People look to buy happiness even though deep down inside, if they pause for a moment, they know that a moment of euphoria does not bring lasting satisfaction. The growing consumer debt so common these days often crushes marriage and destroys families with the weight of seemingly insurmountable financial burdens. Why do we want so much? What are we looking for? Will we know it when we find it? Why do we want to keep up with the Joneses when we don’t even like them?

One of the biggest challenges in gift giving is meeting the expectations of others and of ourselves, but gift giving doesn’t have to be about buying anything.

I love the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It has some great insight into relationships and really takes a look at what makes some people tick and I think it is fairly accurate overall. The people close to you want to be known. Can you tell what their dominant language is? Do you know your own? Many of these love languages can cross over into one another and often do. If you are obsessive about the categories you will miss out on the concept. Don’t do that!

The Love Languages (in brief–please get the book from your library and read it!)

Gifts — some people groove on being given what might seem the smallest, most inconsequential treat to you: a hard to find candy bar, a loaf of homemade bread, a bag of incredible coffee, a package of cool notecards, some gluten-free cookies, a great coffee mug, etc. If you bought or made it with them in mind (and I do feel that is the key here) then it is indeed a precious gift.

Time — For some people, making a date for something as simple as a cup of coffee and conversation is a treasured experience. Time together is invaluable. With life moving along at an incredible speed it is important to make and take the time to connect.

Words of Affirmation — Encouragement is certainly not found everywhere. If you find you think and speak encouraging words on a regular basis, then you, my friend, have an important gift. Sometimes a written note gives a gift the recipient can re-read when they are feeling discouraged.

Touch — this love language can get you into trouble if it is your main way of communicating and rightly so. Touch is so personal and clearly not what everyone wants or likes. Be very sensitive to this as you may not know “why” behind it and there may not even be a big “why” behind it. Sometimes it is just how we are wired. If touch is important to you be aware of healthy boundaries. But if you don’t mind giving a foot rub and someone very close to you loves them, wow, that can be a great match!

Acts of Service — many people find themselves so out of time that taking a job off their plate is truly the best gift. An extra set of hands working alongside yours during a difficult time can be a huge blessing. An act of service might be as simple as grabbing a gallon of milk at the store, shoveling the sidewalk for a neighbor, or an hour of free childcare.

Every love language has value. As you mature you might find that you are very open to receiving outside of your preference because you look to the giver and see the thought, sacrifice, and the love behind the gift. You may find that your preferences change with age or as the people in your life change. Probably the most important transition you can make in this area is moving away from always giving what you “speak” as far as languages go and being able to have “basic conversation” in all languages. You may be most fluent in one or two but can adjust to the preferences of others.

As you prepare to give to others during throughout the year, take a step back and think about what and why you give. Establish your boundaries and work to live within them. The expectations of others can often pose a challenge but most people can accept what we do and how we do it….eventually. Sometimes counter cultural action takes a little extra time to process.

And because shopping always seems to make its way into our season, consider shopping small businesses, locally, where you have a connection to the owners, and with those who promote and encourage what is important to your life.

What have been some treasured gifts you have received? What categories do they fall into? Do you seem to have one dominant “love Language”? Or do you find you can speak multiple languages with different people?

Porcupine-y

Prickly people. Do you know any? Have you been one?

I have had a time or two in my life (or ten) when I have been pretty painful to touch or have a conversation with. Get too close and I might even shoot out a couple of quills.

Ouch!

The most complicated situation for me is when I am in a room with two people–one I feel immense love for and the other I can barely stomach. I have no idea how to behave. Should I be leading this double life? Is it acceptable or even possible to show one person my loving side at the very moment I am seething with disdain for another in the very same place? Nope–it’s ugly.

“Here, [insert name of favored person here] you can touch my soft side.”

“Sorry, [insert name of irritating person here] you bring out the quills in me…”

Lord, I am blessed and forgiven by You. Help me to share those gifts with others. I can love because You first loved me. Let Your love, grace, and mercy flow through me to all, not just the easy people. Amen.

Psalm 45

This PrayerPoint was originally written in March 2010.

Psalm 121

Never underestimate God’s ability to deliver straight from His Word.

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore. NIV

This was originally posted March 2010 but I must say it is timeless. It can be read and applied to each and every one of our days!

A Promise Fulfilled

Sometimes it is harder to keep our word than we can ever imagine. I’m know I have made commitments I have been unable to keep and I hate that. Even the best of intentions can be made without a full understanding of what the future holds. Of course, we can only plan to the best of our ability, but we should take very seriously the thought of a promise or commitment.

I am so thankful for God’s promises. He always follows through. He is always on time and He often delivers in unexpected ways.

Why would a Savior enter the world in such humble circumstances or die such a brutal death?

How could God work in and through a sinner like me to communicate His Gospel message to those in my sphere of influence?

How will He use my past in combination with my present to contribute to my future?

Today I am blessed to celebrate the resurrection of the Savior: The Promise Fulfilled. If God can make good on that level of commitment to me, I need to ask for greater trust that He can work out the other details of my life. He has already made the most important provision for me through Jesus. I think I can trust Him with the rest of my details.

He is Risen!

He is Risen, Indeed!

Alleluia!

Expectations

It is so easy to be moved from being satisfied to dissatisfaction when we allow our own or someone else’s expectations run the show.

Not all expectations are bad. I am referring to the expectation that you will be able to pull off the unrealistic perfect family gathering this weekend! We see those photos in ads where there aren’t any dirty dishes or dust bunnies and every outfit blends or coordinates with every outfit in the photo and all of that is accented by the perfect food, makeup, and….well, the list goes on. Media and advertising have painted unrealistic and unattainable “picture perfect” moments for us to try to reproduce in our own homes.

Can you imagine how long it takes to set up those photo shoots?

And when we aren’t able to pull it off we become dissatisfied with what we have.

Don’t do it. Don’t go there.

Folks, it isn’t happening at our house. We won’t be serving perfection but we are serving love, forgiveness, mercy, and grace. We have been busy with life so we might be a wee bit tired and the house isn’t perfectly clean. We didn’t buy new dresses. We probably won’t be color coordinated but we will be enjoying one another’s company. When it is time to share the big meal, my goal is for all the food to be ready at the same time but even that isn’t always easy.

Expectations. Sometimes they kill the joy of the moment!

God sent Jesus in an unexpected way to save ordinary people like you and me. Jesus died an unimaginable death to set things right with God on our behalf. This isn’t the picture perfect situation by the world’s standards but God’s love for us is perfect, so this evidence of God’s love is perfection.

God has given you His all. Ask Him to open your eyes and heart to be satisfied with all He is and all He is doing.

Thank You, Father, for Your perfect love!

Preparations

It’s been a day, a week really, preparing for Easter Sunday in the many ways one might do that:

* travel arrangements
* menu planning
* food shopping
* egg dyeing
* wardrobe additions
* cleaning
* decorating

In all this busyness has there been enough consideration of The Cross, The Christ, The Crucifixion?

There is still time to contemplate the incredible exchange that took place.

+ His life was given for yours.

+ You are worth the sacrifice He made.

+ You are worth the breath He gave.

+ Your value is not in what you have done or who you are.

+ Your beauty and value is in the eyes of your Beholder, your Savior, your Risen Lord.