I have dwelled on things I have said or done (or left undone) a time or two. These situations weigh on me and the inner dialogue might go something like this:
I cannot even believe you said that.
Why are you being so petty?
Why didn’t you pay closer attention?
That was a stupid thing to say!
I work on remaining silent when frustrated because blurting things out in a moment of aggravation typically only escalates a situation. I also mentally work through things that are mistakes I have made. I first “right” what I can and then I lift the rest to God. Some things are not in my control. No amount of money or time can resolve some situations. I have learned to be ok with that.
But this dwelling can drive me crazy! It can create sleepless nights. I might dream of all of the possible solutions that could have worked if only I would have _________________________!!! [You fill in the blank!]
What is worth dwelling over? Where should my energies go?
These days leading up to Advent have something worth dwelling over. God’s gift to humankind. God’s gift of redemption. God’s gift of love. The Prince of Peace. My Redeemer. Emmanuel.
Come, Lord Jesus!
I have a favor to ask you!
When I complain about the same thing, over and over again, will you ask me what steps I am taking to resolve that situation?
I know I can get stuck because I have been stuck before. When a situation comes up and blows my mind so much that I have no clue how to move forward – then I am stuck; even if I can’t verbalize it. It’s my own, personal wilderness.
I am sure you have been there, too. It isn’t a fun place to be. It might be the result of:
- a broken promise,
- a death of a person,
- a death of a dream,
- an issue that just doesn’t seem to ever get resolved.
When I seem to be on “repeat”, please get my attention and ask me if I plan to wallow in this place forever or If I am I interested in moving forward with my month, my year, my life.
I might not like being challenged like this. I might get angry with you. But they are words I need to hear from you, if you are my friend.
Sometimes I don’t even recognize I am stuck but those who are around me surely do. My prayer is that I lovingly receive your words of concern and take action, but I might not be ready to. If I am resistant, please be patient and keep praying for me. I am not sure how long I will be stuck. I don’t know how much of life will pass me by as I wander in the wilderness – let’s hope it isn’t 40 years! The truth is, I don’t want dwell in a place of loss and confusion. That is not how I want to spend my days.
I want to dwell in the Lord! But I may have just gotten stuck.