Hello Friend! Day Eleven

Hello Friend!

Have you ever been sucked into something so ugly with such speed you wonder “Where the heck am I and how did I get here?”

It happens. Addictions are evil.

It mainly happens with addiction and it doesn’t have to be ours — it can be someone else’s and it can sometimes change the course of our lives. Instead of the regular things like paying bills and working the job we become familiar with calling the cops, paying fines, court dates, rehabilitation, and the jail system.

We can get sucked in so quickly!

If this is your life, I am so sorry. It is heart wrenching to have someone you love catapulting themselves towards disaster. They are seeking peace for their troubled soul. And you are along for the ride because you love them or think you can help them.

I will pray for you. I will pray for your wisdom and discernment. I will pray for your safety. I will pray you have healthy boundaries.

Sometimes you cannot stop someone who is bent on destruction.



Can we ever get all of it under control? I don’t think it is possible. I don’t think it is meant to be possible. While this might be a disappointing piece of news for you, it is a relief to me!!!

Glance over this list…surely there is something out of your control here:

Budget, Children, Paperwork, Relationships, Health, Laundry, Kitchen Cupboards, Refrigerator, Food Shopping and Meal Planning, Chores,  Vehicle Maintenance, Home Maintenance

Really? shall I continue?

Family Schedules, Education, Smoking, Drinking, Recreational Drug Use, Weight, Eating, Exercise, Thought Life, Spiritual Life, Emotional Life, Addictive Behaviors, Marriage

I know there is more… 

What is our obsession with control? Sometimes our personal lack of control is seen in our need to control others. Sometimes we are just weighed down by the expectations of others and so we work hard to “earn” someone’s favor by being “in control”. There are things that are simply out of our control and there are things we certainly can work on. If I am always angry about how things are going, I am likely feeling out of control and not sure where to put that frustration and so it comes out as anger. It’s somewhat understanding because feeling like everything is out of control is a very frustrating feeling!

Here is my confession ~ At one time or another I have tried to get all of those things listed above under my control. Guess what? It hasn’t worked yet. I can make progress in some areas but I just can’t seem to conquer everything on that list and certainly not at the same time. I am actually not sure I have conquered anything of that list. All I will say is that sometimes I make progress.

I am not sure why I expect myself to have everything under control. I guess because lots of people look like they have it under control but they I suspect they don’t. It’s most likely a mirage. It just appears to be the case. It is probably what people want me to think is true.

Me? I am a mess some days. Maybe most days. And when I acknowledge that life is messy and I am messy and I ask God to work through my circumstances for something bigger than myself (like Him) He is able to take my mess and makes a message out of it. I hope it is a message of grace because that is what I need to hear and so I am betting others need to hear it too.

Let’s be real and admit where we have a struggle, an unrealistic expectation, or a mess. Trying to look like we have everything under control isn’t healthy for others and it isn’t healthy for us either. While everyone does not need to know everything, confessing our lack of control to those we rub shoulders with most frequently is being real. I think when we are real with others it invites them to be real with us. And that is where we start to accept who we are instead of always striving to be someone we aren’t.

Lord, within my mess I need to see Your message. Help me to bring all of it to You and accept Your grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Amen.


I’ve been thinking about bad habits lately and as I pondered one of my success stories, it was a wee bit creepy to look back at how I used to think about this certain thing.

I saved for you

I searched for you

I panicked when you weren’t available to me

I looked forward to our refreshing time together

I remember your presence at many of my life events – both large and small

I heard you had a negative impact on me but I just closed my ears… I didn’t want to listen

There were many days when I used you as a reward for getting through a negative experience

I often saw you multiple times in a day but towards the end I started limiting how much of my attention you would have.

Now I see you and….

I might give you a second glance but I don’t look for you any more. I am glad to say I hardly miss you though occasionally I do. I certainly am no longer your biggest fan. I don’t devote much thought to you at all. When I see you, I don’t have to have you.

Can you believe all of that was over diet coke? Crazy but true. I didn’t grow up with pop in my house. I really don’t remember when it became so important to me but it probably has to do with when I worked at McDonald’s. It was free so what the heck? How quickly something that is free can become something that is binding. There is no freedom in that. I look back at my “affair” with diet coke and I can see the big picture of it now and it encourages me to tackle some of those other bad habits I’ve adopted. It has probably been at least 2 years since I have been enamored with diet coke but I know my personality….something else has moved into that top spot. But my success with this issue gives me hope!

Is there something you suspect you have an unhealthy attachment to? Unfortunately, these days there are so many options! Is there something you have convinced yourself that you deserve or you find sneaky ways to get access to it? Find an accountability partner and talk about it. Ask for prayer to change your behavior. Ask God to change your perspective and give you the strength to overtake the stronghold in your life. Practice saying adiós to this “bad friend” until they are so out of the picture your heart doesn’t race when you are in the same room. You can do it!

Adiósdiet coke, you have been a bad friend!