A Time to be Silent

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Sometimes there is no fixing a situation.

Have you ever been in a situation where no words could possibly do any good. There are times to be silent and pray like crazy.

For some reason, silence troubles me. I think some of it is because I am a verbal processor. Or maybe silence is uncomfortable when something is wrong or uncomfortable and I feel pressure to fill up that “space” in a conversation that has a pause.

Silence can be a sign that everything is fine or that nothing is or something in between. But it is okay and sometimes it is even preferable over a barrage of words that are tossed haphazardly, littering a conversation. When I do not know what to say it is fine to say, “I am so sorry, I don’t know what to say.” and then get on with the business of just being present.

Sitting in silence is sometimes a very valuable gift.

In order to listen best, one must be silent. Is there someone who can benefit from your presence this week, with or without words? Even if there isn’t a conversation that takes place between the two of you, you can always silently pray, “Lord, be in this moment and fill the needs of this person I am with.” Look for His strength in every situation!

On the way,

Liz

A Time to Dance

PA dancers w — A Hungarian dance group from Pennsylvania

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

“I’m dancing as fast as I can.”

“Dancing with the devil.”

“Do the hustle.”

Dancing is a great metaphor for relationships and expectations. It can also be an expression of joy and release.

Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with timbrel and harp. [Psalm 149:3 NIV]

You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
Lord my God, I will praise you forever. [Psalm 30:11-12 NIV]

When was the last time you danced?

I like to dance a little here and there but I don’t dance nearly enough. I am more inclined to dance alone because my heart for dancing and my skill set are so woefully unmatched I know I will be embarrassed. I am just too uncomfortable knowing that others could be watching me or, worse yet, filming me! That’s unfortunate because dancing is good for you in a variety of ways. And it wasn’t designed to be a competition that intimidates people.

I have danced a few steps in response to a victory of some sort. I like a slow dance with my husband. And I would like to learn more Hungarian folk dancing. But I really don’t consider myself a dancer and I certainly don’t know much about dancing in a technical way.

Dancing is closely related to joy for me. Even though I don’t dance often when I do it is typically because I am feeling pretty excited about something. It’s a fun way to celebrate and express joy.

I do know a bit about the relief and release that comes after a period of mourning and the permission or sense of release that it is ok to dance. The mourning time has ceased and it’s a new day and a new situation and I can dance in spite of the mess I just walked through. I might dance in the middle of my circumstances because I know God is working out the details or because I know time is short and life is short and I can wallow about this or that or I can dance to pass the time.

Dancing while on the way,

Liz

A Time to Tear

Indiana Statehouse w — The dome in the Indiana Statehouse

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Sometimes it is time to mend but there are times we need to tear ourselves away from a situation or a person.

When I was in high school I had a “friend” I kind of got along with and had fun with in an OK sort of way but she wasn’t really someone I could spend a lot of time with. We had very different interests and very different friends and the friendship took a lot of work for me and quite a bit of compromise. If I spent some time with her, she always wanted more. Our lives were definitely headed in different directions and I wanted to stay on my path. She wanted me on hers. I tried to explain that I needed some space but then she would threaten me with suicide. Man, that wasn’t a burden I was ready to bear so I hung around a bit longer until I could direct her to some help and extricate myself from the situation. It isn’t that I didn’t care about her life but that is a biggie and difficult to know what to do about at any age, let alone 16.

I had to tear myself away.

A friend of mine was recently telling me her story. Her husband had serious mental health issues but she stayed with him because of the kids. He refused to see any counselors. He was very controlling. After 25+ years she finally had enough and left. He begged and pleaded and said he would kill himself if she didn’t come back. He finally agreed to go to counseling. When she returned he was much nicer and tolerable for three months. Then he started buying new guns and new ammunition. When she talked to her counselor, they told her this was not a good sign and that this often leads to a murder/suicide. She made a difficult decision.

She had to tear herself away.

And thankfully she did. Unfortunately, he killed himself but she likely saved her own life by removing herself from the situation. And, of course, both she and the kids are left to process the tragedy.

Sometimes it isn’t a person who tries to have an unhealthy hold on you. Sometimes it is a habit or a tendency that we need to make a conscious effort to step away from. Sometimes it is more than that, it is a sin we are harboring and catering to and if we can’t simply step away from it then we need to tear ourselves away.

Make a break for it!

If someone or something imprisons you, please find wise counsel. Pray for discernment. Some situations are extremely complicated and dangerous and require assistance to be extracted from. Other times we only need the encouragement of a friend or the conviction of Scripture to come face-to-face with where we are and the road we need to take.

The human spirit can endure in sickness,
but a crushed spirit who can bear?

The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge,
for the ears of the wise seek it out. [Proverbs 18:14-15 NIV]

On the way,

Liz

A Time to Search

Transylvania Salt Mine Chapel w — A chapel in a salt mine in Transylvania

A Time for Everything

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see,
Everything that I keep missing,
Give your love for humanity.
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.
Give me Your eyes so I can see.

I often think about this song by Brandon Heath — I only added the chorus above but you can give it a listen here.

Give me Your eyes!

How much would change in our behavior and relationships if we would have God’s eyes for a person or a situation? Are we using God’s perspective as we consider our circumstances? Are we seeking His face so we can reflect Him more accurately?

Each time we seek His face, He shapes our vision to be more like His. My own vision is faulty. It is clouded with my sin, my sinful nature, and the sin of the world. At this time in my life I need reading glasses as well as glasses that can give me better vision at a distance, and, to top it off, I even have astigmatism which means that my eyeball is not a standard shape [per dictionary.com]. So I have three things working against me for 20/20 vision. And yet I have never had restrictions on my drivers’ license in any state in which I have lived. A little wacky vision is acceptable to the state and even within our world and that makes it fairly easy to stray from what is acceptable in God’s eyes if we are distant from Him.

Hear my voice when I call, Lord;
be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, Lord, I will seek. [Psalm 27:7-8 NIV]

Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.
Look to the Lord and his strength;
seek his face always. [Psalm 105:3-4 NIV]

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. [Matthew 6:33-34 NIV]

I like to use “Give me Your eyes” as a quick prayer when I am coming into an uncomfortable or unknown situation. Staying tethered to God is essential for improving how I see things around me!

On the way,

Liz

A Time to Hate

Lake Balaton w — Lake Balaton in Hungary

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Just like the word “love” we tend to throw around “hate” fairly liberally. I know for me it is more a habit. Instead of saying “I hate that”, I may start saying “That bugs me” or something with a little less intensity. Then people won’t be confused and assume my dislike of something is stronger than it really is.

When we truly hate something, there is intensity in our feelings and it often propels us into action.

We fight.
We argue.
We band together to address the issue.
We protest.
We focus on “the problem”.

There is a place for all of those things. But let’s not get so wrapped up in our “hatred” with such a focus on the “hated” that we forget to see what is right in this world. Of course, there is pain, disease, death, and injustce, etc. And there are definitely things that are classified as evil and it’s easy to be jaded when evil has touched your life. It might be around you but I encourage you to not let that be the place where your mind dwells.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. [Romans 12:8-10 NIV]

Cling to what is good!

What are you thankful for? What makes you smile? What warms the cockles of your heart? What “good things” have you received from others? What “good news” did you read in God’s Word? What promises has He made to you as His child?

If you find yourself overwhelmed by the ugly stuff, I challenge you to speak about those people and things you are thankful for. You can journal them too. Have you had some great experiences? Shared some wonderful moments with people you treasure? Watched a beautiful sun rise? Enjoyed a spectacular sunset? Let this be the place your mind dwells!

Cloud

Tell someone what you are grateful for! It might even help them by helping them change their focus.

Hold tight to what is good!

On the way!

Liz

A Time to Scatter Stones

Bukk Mountains w — Clean air in the Bükk Mountains in Hungary

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Apparently I am in a season of life where there is a lot of traveling. I enjoy it, most of the time. It is definitely different and sometimes I feel scattered. Sometimes I am scattered because the trips are back-to-back and I am bound to forget something.

Scatter(ed) can certainly be a state of being, but it can also be a state of doing.

Are you actively dispersing things as you travel through life? It might be physical things, of course, but it can also be thoughts or ideas or faith or encouragement or courage or love or a smile. If you are out there, sharing with the world, have you considered that your contributions might be neutral yet are more likely negative or positive?

Sometimes I am super grumpy or overtired or guilty. Unfortunately, those are not generally the moments when I am “feeling the love” so I scatter seeds of negativity. If I am in a really bad space, I not only embrace my own habitual skepticism, I give it away to everyone I come in contact with whether I know them or not. Those seeds can land on fertile soil and become a nasty weed, seemingly overnight. Like a virus, it can quickly pass from person to person until the space where I am (and the trail from whence I came) is littered with negativity.

When I am in a good space, I can be reckless with my giving. I share without reservation. I am patient and can hear and see and feel and can give all day long, fueled by a grateful heart. I am full of love and grace and peace. Those things can also be quickly passed along and affect those all around me.

Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. [Luke 6:44-46 NIV]

It is important to think about those things you are storing up in your heart because those concepts will come out in the way of words and actions; it will be what you scatter! Breathe in the good and exhale it. If you intake bad, interrupt the cycle by putting out good.

You might find you need to go into a place where the air is pure, particularly with all the toxicity in the world today. It’s true, there is nothing new under the sun but the rate negativity can be spread is astounding.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. [Philippians 4:8 NIV]

Our focus fills our heart and then comes out of our mouths and through the work of our hands.

On the way,

Liz

A Time to Refrain from Embracing

Buso Fire w — Saying goodbye to winter in Mohács, Hungary

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

re·frain¹rəˈfrān/ verb

stop oneself from doing something. “she refrained from comment” “the demonstrators have promised to refrain from violent behavior”

synonyms: abstain from, desist from, hold back from, stop oneself from, forbear (from), avoid, eschew, shun, renounce;

informal swear off;

formal forswear, abjure

It doesn’t seem that people refrain from much these days! So many families would still be intact if people would refrain from embracing those they have no business embracing…or those who have issues with addiction would abstain from alcohol and other drugs…and, really, the list can go on and on. And on.

Honestly, I struggle with it myself as well. There are things I need to refrain from and the season of Lent is always a good time to really contemplate those things. Each day I should be sontemplating these things. What are those behaviors I need to finally set aside for my own mental, physical, and spiritual health? It doesn’t have to be illegal for it to be unhelpful in my daily walk. What things should I refrain from because others look to me as an example or simply because the behavior is sinful and I know better.

I know better and I choose to do what I want anyway.

I don’t believe knowledge is power. Knowledge may bear some potential for power but nnowledge alone is ineffective. Grafting knowledge with a change in behavior is getting closer to where the real power lies. We are absolutely sinners, each and every one of us. But that doesn’t mean we need to keep on actively sinning. There are many behaviors that lead to challenging consequences and yet we still participate in those things. We might not do the same things as one another, but we all do things that compromise ourselves and others.

What is one thing that trips you up and has regularly caused problems in your life? Is it time you put more effort into removing it? Sometimes knowing why helps but sometimes the “why” doesn’t much matter — that “seeking” can also be used as a crutch to inaction.

I am comforted when I see God’s Word and I know that others have struggled before me with these ideas, with the sin, with knowing they can be loved and wretched, all at the same time. And I am convicted of not tapping into God’s strength and grace to overcome my evil foes!

¹⁴We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. ¹⁵I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

²¹So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.²²For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ²⁴What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ²⁵Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. [Romans 7:14-25 NIV]

On the way,

Liz

A Time to Give Up

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Have you ever found yourself trying too hard? There are times in situations that you overwork yourself or take on more responsibility for something, just to make it work. And, in the end, it doesn’t really work and you are exhausted from the attempt.

My Achilles heel is relationships. When I perceive I have made a good connection with a person, the relating comes easy and is very comfortable, even if there are years between seeing one another face-to-face. But there are some relationships that are challenging. As the years have gone by, those are rarely friendships I have initiated, of course. The challenging ones are the ones where I have people in my life because of life, not because I have chosen to be in relationship with them. It might be a work colleague or another volunteer in a church or civic group or a family member and the connection takes an inordinate amount of effort.

It might be okay to surrender the relationship. If you decide to stop working so hard to make it work it is possible the other person will then step in and make the effort. Or not. And then, is it really a relationship worth pursuing?

There are relationships we have to be in and there are relationships we choose to be in. I pray you have a few solid relationships where you can be carefree and encouraged and know you are loved and appreciated. If you have a majority of relationships that are so exhasuting they throw you off kilter, it might be time to consider giving up one or two. Instead of working as if you are the sole contributor to the relationship, “give up” and see if the other person picks up the slack and also invests in it. If they let it go too, it might be an indication that it is time to be done.

Life is short. Be deliberate about where you spend your time and energy. And while all relationships go through bumps in the road, if you are always thrown out of alignment when interacting with some specific people, you might need to rethink how often you want to go down that road.

The wise in heart are called discerning, and gracious words promote instruction. Proverbs 16:21

On the way,

Liz

A Time to Gather Stones

Stone building in Eger, Hungary w — Stone Building in Eger, Hungary

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Do you have a collection? It might be something you need or maybe it is just something you care about.

While I don’t have anything I officially collect, there are times I have to gather up courage or strength for a task. Sometimes I need just a little more of something to help me get through an unpleasant responsibility.

God’s Word has so much to offer when I am lacking in strength. His Word reminds me He has strengthened others in their time of need and that He is there in my time of need as well.

“The Lord is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him.” Exodus 15:2

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” Isaiah 40:29

“It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.” 2 Samuel 22:33

“Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.” I Chronicles 16:11

“It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.” Psalm 18:32

On the way,

Liz

A Time for Peace

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

At one time or another we have all surrendered our “right” or our position or our opinion in order to keep the peace.

Of course, there are some who are more than willing (maybe too willing) to give in. And on the other end of the spectrum there are others who act like every discussion is a hill they are willing to die on.

Ever notice that some people stoke the smallest disagreement so it develops into a huge battle? These situations may be based on a small misunderstanding but one party cannot back down or have a reasonable discussion. Sometimes this happens with friends but it is particularly devastating when it happens within families. The rift in the relationship grows so large and involves so many people that it impacts generations of relationships. Some of these issues last decades and lifetimes.

And then hardship strikes.

Often death, diagnosis, or disability comes along to remind us all how fragile and precious life really is. Life is short. Life can be really hard. Ideas and principles are important but people and relationships are even more important.

There are times a tragedy can be a catalyst for healing in relationships.

Don’t wait for some disaster to offer the olive branch of peace in a strained relationship. If you feel you have been wronged, let the Lord avenge it. Your interpretation of the situation or what “offended” you might, actually, be a bit off base. Feelings often lead us astray. And there are many sides to a story. We are, hopefully, changing and growing every day and learning more about ourselves and the world around us. What was worth battling about five years ago might just be a blip now, considering the circumstances. Lost time cannot be recovered but we can move forward together and in peace, making memories along the way.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord. [Romans 12:17-19 NIV]

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. [Ephesians 4:1-6 NIV]

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. [Ephesians 4:25-27 NIV]

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. [Ephesians 4:29-32 NIV]

On the way,

Liz