It took about 9 months, but my grandson let Miss Emily cut his hair with the clippers today.
He was terrified of the noise. He had some bad hair cutting experiences at some Kidz Cutz kind of place. Very noisy. Too loud and scary for a little dude.
So Miss Emily played it cool. Starting last May our grandson just came along with us when we went to her house for our haircuts.
The next visit he peeked out from the living room and sang her “The Excavator Song.”
The next visit she let him sit in her mini motorized semi truck and let him drive it around the yard when she was done cutting his hair. He was thrilled to drive that semi on the grass.
The next time it was too hot to cut hair outside so we moved inside. He sat up in the chair on a box and let her cut his hair.
But only with scissors.
Then in October, November, and December it was just scissors and he was allowed to play with the mini blow dryer.
Until January, when she let him hold her battery operated clippers. He played with them. Turned them on and off and on and off and…..well, you get the idea.
And she gave it a shot and she used them. He just wasn’t exactly aware.
But, today he hopped up in the chair first.
He loves visiting Miss Emily.
And he didn’t complain that she used the clippers. He just wanted her to put the guard on. And he very sweetly said, “I like it better when you cut my hair with scissors.”
Miss Emily wanted to win him over and that she did. She did it with love and patience.
Love and patience can win a lot of people over. God shows us that time and time again!
“Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We’re unrehearsed.” ― Mel Brooks.
It’s funny. You dream of a day, a meal, an experience, a career and it doesn’t turn out the way you expected AT ALL!
Now what?
Sometimes we aim too low on our expectations and we are pleasantly surprised. Other times, and likely much more frequently, we expect too much from something or someone and it doesn’t happen the way we hoped.
Let the wailing and gnashing of teeth begin!
Expectations can be the death of a relationship (and sometimes that is ok) but a dose of reality is always important.
Take my most recent haircut, for example.
I always agonize when we relocate because it surely means two things: I need to find a new mechanic I can trust and I need to find a new person to cut my hair in a way that looks good on me.
Ugh on both points!
What I was going for….
I have been avoiding a haircut since September when we moved. I did break down and get a trim in February but that is all I had the courage to do before yesterday. And by yesterday I was already way overdue for a haircut. I called in the morning and she could take me at 1:30 the same day. Wow! I was excited! I even had this photo as an example of the cut and style I was interested in.
What I look like now!
Granted, I was not going to wear makeup and I was not dressed quite as fancy and I don’t have the same smile BUT this is what I walked out with:
I guess it is close, but not close enough to what I was hoping for. This experience reminded me of some important truths:
We are working with people who most often do not always see things from the same perspective or we have more confidence in them than is warranted.
And let’s take it a step further: We are dealing with people who have some deep wounds we don’t know about or they think have been healed or ____________ (fill in the blank)!
Working with human beings is pretty tricky stuff. When we are deep in a relationship with someone we sometimes experience some very difficult things with them. Other times we miss things that are very important for others because we are in the middle of our own stuff. All of that messes with expectations: yours, mine, and theirs.
Pay attention to your relational expectations. Even if they are truly justified and reasonable, sometimes the other party is not in the same book as you, let alone on the same page.
I do believe God’s grace covers a multitude of sins. I have a multitude of my own sins to worry about. So while I might want to stomp around being ‘justified’ about my irritations or aggravations I most often need to move along and let God work on me and my attitude. As I ponder His grace poured out on me and my life, it feels pretty stingy to withhold it from others.
Are you struggling with expectations today? How do you work through those times of disappointment when you or others have “dropped the ball” or intentionally challenged your hopes and dreams?
When I am in a good space, I tend to seek God on the matter. When I struggle with it the most it seems I have drifted a bit from God’s perspective.
As for my hair, I just have to wait for it to grow out. I suspect that strategy of waiting (and praying) works well with a multitude of unmet expectations. I trust that God will work it out even when I can’t possibly see the solution.
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