A Time to Keep

Flowers in Transylvania w — Flowers in Transylvania

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

There are so many moments I want to keep fresh in my mind. But as I get older I find they are increasing and so diverse. It’s hard to store them all away! That is a blessing of having cameras and being able to record special times. Although, sometimes the documentation can get in the way of the moment. I often struggle between being in the moment and making a record of it.

What moments in your life are you keeping? Are they worth the storage space? As you reflect on them, do they bring you joy or pain?

I love this quote about friendships but I think some of it is appropriate as we consider our lives and experiences but my focus in this quote is the bolded words:

“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but to pour them all out just as they are, chaff and grain together knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.” (attributed to a couple of people)

I only have a limited capacity for remembering. I don’t want to squandered it on things not worth keeping but sometimes my heart is on automatic pilot, for good and for bad.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. [Proverbs 4:23 NIV]

Our capacity for keeping is limited. Choose carefully!

On the way,

Liz

A Time to Weep

Sun over Torockow — Sunrise in Transylvania

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Sometimes there are no words that can be said about a particular circumstance. There is no solution, no possible change or fix.

It is what it is.

Our response may start off with a deep sadness and tears, but when the magnitude of what this means hits us and there is weeping.

The “here I am, facing the biggest heartache of my life” situation is here to stay and there is nothing anyone can do to prevent it from barreling down. The grief comes in waves, there is a deep sadness over what is or will be lost, and there are many, many tears.

There is a time to weep.

I am so thankful God and His people throughout the generations know these deep emotions. It helps take the edge off the pain a little to know that when we are feeling so deeply, we are not alone — even if we feel that way.

Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress;
    my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
    my soul and body with grief.
My life is consumed by anguish
    and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
    and my bones grow weak.[Psalm 39:9-10 NIV]

God knows and sees us in our grief and weeps with us. He created us with the capacity for a range of emotions and we are created in His image. And when we think we are facing the circumstance alone, it is important to remember that God can and will carry us through. It doesn’t mean there won’t be sadness or weeping. It means He is alongside us, leading us, carrying us, tending to us, providing for us, and showing His grace upon grace.

The Psalms are filled with believers in distress. There is just a sampling below. I take great comfort in knowing that I am not alone when my grief is profound. I have His Word to remind me of His love and provision from the beginning of time.

Psalm 4:1 Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer.

Psalm 18:6 In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.

Psalm 20:1 May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.

Psalm 31:9 Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.

Psalm 55:17 Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.

Psalm 81:7 In your distress you called and I rescued you, I answered you out of a thundercloud; I tested you at the waters of Meribah.

Psalm 86:7 When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me.

Psalm 102:2 Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress. Turn your ear to me; when I call, answer me quickly.

Psalm 102:5 In my distress I groan aloud and am reduced to skin and bones.

Heartache is never fun to walk through. If you are challenged with fresh or long-standing grief, I pray that you find comfort in God’s promises and His Word. Ask a friend to pray with and for you. And please don’t hesitate to find a healthy pastor to visit with.

On the way,

Liz

A Time to Uproot

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Have you ever moved to a new place and tried to get to know what plants are in your yard? If you don’t know much about plants, it can be confusing because as things start to green up in Spring it is exciting. But not everything that is green is good. Sometimes the weeds masquerade as something useful but soon they choke out other plants you actually do want. Getting rid of noxious weeds isn’t always fun. But, left unchecked, they can overtake a large area in a short amount of time.

Root them out!

And while you are in the business of getting rid of those unwelcomed guests, think about other things you might need to dig out and eliminate. Allowing things like

impatience
anger
suspicion
lies
resentment
fear
hatred
assumptions
selfishness
envy
jealousy
perfection

to be a part of your life can cause an unwanted invasion. And those things can quickly choke out the good things God wants to grow in you. Digging out this junk can be a bit of work. It takes a conscientious effort to uproot and eliminate those weeds. But doing so brings more space and freedom for the other, more Christ-like, qualities to grow and flourish.

Take stock of what is growing in your life today. Sowing seeds that produce patience, love, trust, honesty, appreciation, peace, joy, kindness, goodness, faith, mercy, and gentleness will result in an amazing harvest for you and those who are in your presence. Be deliberate about what you allow to remain in your life.

Life is too hard and too short to be growing all that ugly stuff. Be intentional about what you are growing in your heart and life. As you radiate God’s good gifts they will be a blessing to those all around you!

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. [Galatians 5:22-23 NIV]

On the way,

Liz

A Time to Die

Sunset w

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

As a young child, I experienced a bit of trauma when my father died. I was only six years old and I don’t remember a lot about his illness or death but I do remember watching my friends have dads and wondered what that was like. Of course, because the main wage earner was not around, we experienced financial hardship. And sure my mom was exhasuted by the four of us! As I moved through different stages of life, I knew I missed out on something. But, it was simply a fact in our family and we moved forward in life.

Years went my and I married a great guy and we started having our own children. When we were pregnant with precious child #3, I started to get nervous. When my husband’s mom was pregnant with her third child, her huband died of a heart attack. I thought for sure that would be my future. Of course, I was wired for something like that since I grew up without a father in the home. My mom raised four kids by herself and I figured that was going to be my lot in life. I actually thought far more about the day I would be raising children on my own due to my husband’s death than I ever thought about my mom leaving this earth.

Moms are immortal, aren’t they?

It didn’t happen that way. Don’s still here and my mom died ten years ago. (She was the best!) And it has been so much fun to watch my kids have their dad in their lives! Watching my husband be such a great father to our kids has been a great thing. So many of the things I feared would happen, in fact, have not happened. But they were fears I simply had to face and move through.

There are days we feel like we are dying because of the agonizing heartache or the anticipation of pain or paralyzing fear of the future or the prospect (or certainty) of a challenging treatment plan. And yet, those are not the days our bodies die. We are all marching toward that final day but we don’t really know the circumstances surrounding our final breath.

We know it will come, eventually. It always does. Are you working on those things you’ve hoped or dreamed about? If you knew you had a short time left on this earth, what are the things you would focus in on and do?

Teach us to number our days,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom. [Psalm 90:12 NIV]

I am at least halfway through my life. When did that even happen? I don’t fear death itself as much as I wonder about the pain that might be involved in the process of dying. But, no matter, I don’t know any of the circumstances surrounding my final breath.

But what if this is what I am facing in my remaining days?

Life without a special, precious someone
A difficult diagnosis
Financial hardship
Disability
Chronic Illness

I will cling to His promises. He is the God of all comfort. He sees the bigger picture. He knows this life is temporary. He knows and uses every trouble and trial for faith building either in me or in others.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. [2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV]

I trust that God is with me, strengthening and upholding me! And I trust He is with you too!

On the way,

Liz

Isaiah41_10

A Time to Mend

Torocsko Fence w — The view from Torockó in Transylvania

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

When I think of the word “mend” I think of sewing a button on a shirt or fixing a hole on a beloved shirt. We can also “mend fences” which can be quite literal but can also refer to restoring a relationship.

It takes two to revive a relationship. Often one party is ready sooner than the other and needs to wait patiently for the other person to be in the space for rebuilding. I think it would be rare for two people at odds to both “throw down the hatchet” simulataneously but once both parties are open to restoration, God can work a beautiful, though often different, thing.

With fences, and relationships, if issues are addressed when smaller, things can be stabilized. But if there are many unhealthy situations that go unchecked over a period of time the day will surely come when the relationship cannot stand. Of course, there are some relationships that cannot and should not be mended. That takes a bit of thinking, praying, and wise counsel.

Life is short, so let’s mend fences where we can. God can help us discern which ones to restore and which ones to let go. And if you wish to repair something, remember, the other party may not share your desire just yet nor ever. Plant the seed. Extend the hand of peace. You are only responsible for your actions and that can lead you to peace even if the relationship is not one that can be restored. Even coming together to decide that the relationship is not healthy and won’t move forward is a mending of sorts and can leave you with peace.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord. [Romans 12:17-19 NIV]

On the Way,
Liz

A Time to be Born

A Porch in Transylvania w — A porch baluster in Transylvania.

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Have you ever jumped the gun and rushed something?

a meal that needed more time for the flavors to blend
a response in the heat of the moment
a relationship
an education
a project
an important decision
death
a process

We often think we have control of all of our circumstances because we can make so much happen these days. But everything is not in our control. There are things that simply take time. It is important to recognize that rushing and pushing for something to “be born” or “to happen” is not always the best way.

A time to be born.

When babies are in the womb, they need their time in that environment. The best amount of time is about nine months. Being born too early often leads to some challenges. Being born beyond that time frame can also cause complications. There is a time to be born. I remember being pregnant and thinking I just want to meet this precious little person and then we can tuck them back in so they can continue growing in their special spot. Of course, that was silly, but no matter how anxious we are for something or someone, there are times we need to wait for the appointed time.

As we are waiting for whatever it is we are waiting for it can be hard to be patient. Our heads may know that we need to wait for the certain, optimal time but our hearts have been on stand by for long enough. What are we supposed to do?

“Wait patiently.” [Romans 8:25]

“Be joyful in hope.

Be faithful in prayer.” [Romans 12:12 NIV]

Keep in mind “…. in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[i] have been called according to his purpose.” [Romans 8:28 NIV]

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. [1 Peter 5:6-7 NIV]

The time is coming. Trust in God’s timing.

On the Way,

Liz

A Time to Tear Down

Castle in Ruins w — A castle in ruins in Transylvania

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

If you have ever done any home remodeling you know that there are times things need to be torn down or ripped out. Sometimes it is due to an invasive species (termites) or a natural disaster (flooding or tornado) and sometimes it is due to poor workmanship. Othertimes there is a change of vision and to make the change, things cannot stay as they are.

Have you ever invested your energy into something and found that the idea needs to be scrapped? Maybe it was an educational path or a relationship or a traveling itinerary. Sometimes you have to go back to the core of a structure, the core of who you are, or to the core of who God is and start again.

Did the builder stray from the original plan?

Have I surrendered some core beliefs?

Have I taken some liberty with God’s promises and met a crushing blow?

It is important to peel back the layers to see the original blueprint and evaluate whether the foundation is on solid ground. When I look at my circumstances and it seems hopeless and I am trembling, somewhere along the line I am sure I have shifted where my hope lies. I have added to the structure of God’s Word and promise and added in some “shaky ground”.

Have you found this to be true? We are only human, after all. It is so easy to be caught up in how things might look and if I do this then that should happen.

We live in a broken world there is death, disappointment, and disease. Sometimes we receive news that is devastating. Revisiting God’s promises and God’s character helps me regain His perspective and gives me fresh eyes to see my circumstances. And it gives me hope.

“My Hope is Built on Nothing Less”
by Edward Mote, 1797-1874

1. My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

2. When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

3. His oath, His covenant, and blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When every earthly prop gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

4. When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found,
Clothed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne!
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

Hymn #370
The Lutheran Hymnal
Text: 1 Timothy 1:1
Author: Edward Mote, c. 1834, cento
Composer: John Stainer, 1873, arr.
Tune: “Magdalen”

On the Way!

Liz

A Time to Kill

Two Horse Sleigh w — A two horse open sleigh!

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

I was in Hungary for two weeks earlier this month on the Winter Traditions Tour hosted through our company, Magyar Marketing. We planned to participate in several activities that typically happen in the winter months, when it is cold in Hungary.

According to Weather Spark, daily high temperatures are 44°F with daily low temperatures of 30°F. We couldn’t have asked for better weather for what we were hoping to accomplish, which included a horse drawn sleigh ride in picture perfect snow, copious amounts of forralt bor (mulled wine), and a pig killing party.

Disclaimer: We, ourselves, did not kill the pig, but someone did. We did take part in the observation of the pig processing and several of our tour members participated in the kolbász (sausage) stuffing competition.

Why would we do this?

All but one of us in the tour group had Hungarian heritage. All of our Hungarian grandparents came to the United States in the early 1900’s and we were interested to experience a bit more about their lives and their traditions in Magyarország (Hungary) Of course, it is possible to have this type of party in the United States, but it is much more fun to have it in Hungary! I have traveled there a number of times over the last 6 years and each time I learn a little more of the language. I also learn more about Hungary, my relatives, and myself.

When I visit my relatives in Hungary, there are gardens, vineyards, and fruit and nut trees. And, there are chickens, ducks, and pigs in the backyard. These are not pets. The chickens and ducks produce eggs for a while and then they end up providing a larger meal for the family. The pig does a great job composting leftovers and then turning them into many wonderful meals, including a family favorite, szalonna (bacon). If you love bacon, you would love szalonna — it is flavorful and perfect!

When I was much younger, we were visiting a family in very rural Transylvania (the area of Romania that used to belong to Hungary prior to the Treaty of Trianon in 1920). There was a well and an outhouse and no running water. It was a memorable experience for me. I enjoyed running around in the yard and playing with the chickens. I even had a favorite. But the next day, my favorite was missing. When I understood what had happened, I couldn’t eat dinner. Farmyard-to-table has been difficult concept for me to wholeheartedly embrace and participate in.

My relatives in Hungary who have backyard animals for food waste nothing when it comes time to processing. Chicken feet are in the soup. The smoked meats in the house hang out in a special room. When we met our relatives for the first time in 2012, we met the wedding pig. The wedding was about 9 months away but the pig was being well fed and well cared for in order to provide important protein and nutrients for the wedding guests. The time to kill signaled the celebration, which is a much different concept than what I think of when I hear the word “kill”. I am just a few generations removed from that idea in my family, but those who are into farm life know there is a time to kill. It might be because of disease, it might be due to the time of year, and it might just be time to celebrate.

On the Way,

Liz

A Time to Speak

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

If you know me at all, you know that it is sometimes hard for me to discern when it is time to speak what is on my mind. I just naturally love conversation and am prone to speak in very small group settings. Sometimes the person who speaks often (quite possibly too often) might get passed by when they have something very valuable to share because their non stop verbiage is just too much for others to absorb. I think everyone has a different saturation point when it comes to words.

Allowing the space of silence in a group builds in processing time for those who can only absorb so many words. And I suspect those who benefit that extra time are also fairly thoughtful about when they might choose to speak. Maybe even too thoughtful. So it is important to create the space in friendships. families, the workplace, and other gathering times so everyone has an opportunity to speak and to be heard.

Allowing pauses in conversation requires practice. Sometimes silence can be uncomfortable. Having a conversation is a bit like with reading a book (which is a conversation of the one sided sort): there are spaces (margins) in books that allow some visual space — allowing for a auditory space is just as important.

In a meeting, my husband is typically quiet and listens and then produces an incredibly thoughtful response or observation at the end. I have a tendency to ask clarification questions and provide feedback and thoughts throughout a meeting. I think that is because I am a verbal processor. I have to get it out in order to figure out what it is I want to say. Don can process all that stuff in his mind and then speak his thoughts very succinctly. I find it fascinating because I just don’t work that way.

Words are powerful and carefully chosen words are even more powerful. I have spent a lifetime learning that just because I think it doesn’t mean I need to share it with the world. Journaling has been an important way I have learned to process thoughts and speak them quietly, to an audience of One.

How do our words reflect our state of mind?

Have you been around someone who lashes out at every opportunity? Or around someone who speaks soothing and encouraging words? The first kind of person is hard to be around and the second type can be a balm to a weary soul. If you know someone who is very generally pretty loving but is having a moment of frustration it is good to keep in mind that they are likely having a moment. But those who are ugly, critical, caustic, impatient, and intolerant? Well, part of me has compassion for them because clearly their heart is troubled. But, honestly, the other part of me wants to run the other way. It isn’t that I never have those moments. I do. But I hope those who love and know me might allow me a small space for processing and then, when it has gone far enough, will nudge (push or pull) me in the healthier direction.

“No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” [Luke 6:43-45 NIV]

In this world of pain, disease, death, and suffering it is important to share words of love and light and life. God’s Word is full of good words.

The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit and life. [John 6:63 NIV]

Speak Life!

On the Way,

Liz

A Time to Heal

Rest w — A babbling brook in Transylvania.

A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 NIV

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Sometimes it seems easier to push through the pain instead of taking time to heal.

Have you ever found yourself so busy at work that you return maybe a little too soon from a bout with the flu just because you are so far behind only to find you have shared it with others or needed more time off again because you were so worn down?
Have you ignored a pain because you didn’t have time to be laid up only to find that things are much worse now because you didn’t take it easy or seek medical attention in the first place?
Have you ever rushed through the emotional and spiritual recovery of a huge life event only to find yourself face-to-face with it again…and again?

We live in a busy time with so many “to do” lists and things that have to get done. If you add that to a personality that is always “on the move” and add that to someone who is not interested in getting to “the root of the problem” it can be disasterous for that person as well as cause problems for those who are in relationship with them.

Any healing might involve physical rest but it also might involve some hard emotional or spiritual work which might not seem restful but is healing. Discerning what you need when you are on a path towards healing is important. Knowing yourself and how God created you is essential. Becoming aware of these things take time and reflection.

It takes time to heal.

There are times that I see so much that needs to be done that I have a hard time taking the time to be restored after a big event in my life. I am thankful for the times God “makes me lie down in green pastures” and “leads me besides quiet waters” [Psalm 23:2] because otherwise I am not sure I would.

I have always been intrigued by the stages of grief and how people process things because I often contemplate how I process things. Some people believe there are 5 and some say 7 and all I know is that there have been times I have floated in and through any of them only to be surprised that some seemingly unrelated situation brings me to a place that was resolved earlier. Was it? Most likely. But, as a “feeler” I can find myself with deep feelings again, though in a healthy way. I found this interesting article from Psychology Today on Why The Five Stages of Grief are Wrong and it is an interesting perspective. I can’t imagine working through anything outside of the context of my faith in God. It is and has always been the cornerstone of how I process things.

Regardless of what it takes time to work through — health, death, disappointment, etc., it seems that there is always a need to address a soul that is weary and burdened.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” [Matthew 11:28-19 NIV]

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. [Psalm 62:5-6 NIV]

On the Way,

Liz

Hymn #370 The Lutheran Hymnal Text: 1 Timothy 1:1 Author: Edward Mote, c. 1834, cento Composer: John Stainer, 1873, arr. Tune: “Magdalen”

Speak Life!

Hymn #370
The Lutheran Hymnal
Text: 1 Timothy 1:1
Author: Edward Mote, c. 1834, cento
Composer: John Stainer, 1873, arr.
Tune: “Magdalen”