Switching Seats

Have you ever been in a moment of deep frustration over how communication is going with someone?

I sure have! And, thankfully, I have a couple of people I can go to to share my relational dilemmas. I hope you have a few people like that in your life!

Recently, one of my people (Person A) was sharing one of their dilemmas. I have no connection to the person whose actions she was trying to understand (Person B). I think that helps. I am not neutral by any means, but I didn’t have a negative or positive idea about Person B.

As she described the scenario I was trying to think of a word picture to better understand the situation. I came up with one and shared it. As a verbal processor I couldn’t help myself. And, while my idea didn’t hit the mark, sharing it helped. Then I thought a little more about the situation — and really tried to “sit in the seat” of this other person and understand their actions.

Depending on our mood or how deeply we are intwined with a situation we might be able to “switch seats” and look at some potential perspectives of the “offending” party. But, sometimes we might benefit from some help from someone who is a little more neutral and can take a step back and try to look at the dynamics and come up with some possible scenarios. Sometimes “switching seats” will diffuse the situation enough that a calm conversation can happen.

As always, ask God to shed His light, perspective, and discernment on a difficult situation. If it is a very complex one you can also check in with a 3rd party who can be relatively neutral. And sometimes you will need a completely neutral 3rd party. You won’t go wrong if you seek to understand.